Heavy Heart / Hopeful Heart

Today marks three years since Brittany left this world. 

It’s a hard day. I’m overwhelmed with thoughts of that night I got a chilling call from my sister telling me the news. I tear up when I think of the countless people I had to call and talk to that night. It’s news that’s hard to hear and nearly impossible to share. It saddens me to think about how much more she had to offer the world. It hurts knowing how much pain she was in.

It’s a beautiful day. I’m overwhelmed with memories of our times together.

Britt was one of the most stubborn people I’ve ever known. If you wanted to argue with her, you’d better know your stuff. If not she’d put you in your place quick, but be kind and gracious while doing so. 

She was one of the most compassionate people I’ve known. Her love for people and injustice in the world was in every fiber of her being. She knew about TWLOHA and Invisible Children long before anyone else I know. She had a heart for victims of trafficing way before it became the trendy justice issue it is today. She didn’t do it to be cool, she genuinely cared for the souls of people. A trait I still admire. 

She was so brilliant; I was reminded today talking to Kaitlyn that she sought truth and wisdom so earnestly. She helped challenge my ideals and birthed in me a desire to formulate my own opinions and thoughts about life and politics. I’m eternally indebted to her for that. 

Britt had one of the best laughs. Despite her intelligence and interest in things like politics, the economy and other ‘boring’ things, she was one of the most fun people to hang out with. I remember countless late nights filled with laughter and joy. A joy that comes only from the Lord. 

She had great taste. Brittany liked great food, great music and great (sometimes weird) movies. All the good music I listened to in High School (and still today) is thanks to her. She always new about some great new band. If I ever needed a movie to watch, she was the one to go to. She could simply whip out her DVD case and pick something from the 100s of movies she owned. I loved that about her. 

I’ve had a lot of hopeful thoughts leading up to today. 

I spent last week in Nashville and through a series of events was able to eat at Burger Up with my fellow interns and house parents. The cool part about it was we got to eat for free. I immediately thought about the news I heard through the grape vine when Michael the co-founder of the trendy burger joint took his life last spring. I thought about how hard it must of been on Miranda and the staff their. As I sat eating my burger (which was delicious, you must go there) I looked at the people in that room. I’m certain that some of them had to of worked their last year when this tragedy happened. I saw them laugh and cut up together. They were happy. I didn’t get to meet Miranda, she was away on business. But I’m incredibly grateful she bought all nine of us lunch. It’s funny how God works. I was incredibly blessed by her generosity. I began to see that there is hope after tragedy. That light pierces through the darkest darkness. I was inspired by her story. I know for a fact that countless people are inspired by Brittany’s story and that brings me joy and hope. I pray I get to meet Miranda someday and give here a hug and tell her how incredibly inspired I am by her story.

Our stories are what make us unique; they’re important, even the dark parts. Brittany’s story is one I’ll never forget and I’ll continue to share. I’m grateful Brittany isn’t suffering anymore. I feel blessed to have been apart of her story. 

Updates.

Well it’s been two and a half weeks since my new life started and I wanted to tell you a little bit about what’s going on. 

Above are the people I’m now living with. Zach and Ashley (bottom right) the house parents, Jeremy (to Zach’s right) and the top row (left to right) Micah, Maggie, Hannah, Alexis and Anna. I’ll be honest. It’s pretty odd moving into a house with people I don’t know at all (save Zach, Ash and Jeremy) but it’s been incredibly eye-opening. I’m learning a lot about who I am and how I interact with others. 

I’ve learned that what I thought was busy over the last few years of my life pales in comparison to they business I experience now. I know it will all settle down once I get used to the new routines, but I feel exhausted a lot. Luckily this exhaustion is met with the encouragement of a great community. Living with and around the people here makes stress and fatigue much more bearable. 

I’m training for a half-marathon. I’m really excited. I’ve hated getting up at 5:55 to run, but it will be worth it. I’ll be honest, I’m looking forward to getting a 13.1 sticker at the end of October.

The house has created a bucket list of things we’d like to do together this year. Some are awesome, some are impossible. I’ll update you when they get checked-off. 

That’s about it for now, sorry I didn’t have anything super spiritual to say, I’ll have some of that later. For now just know everything is going well. It’s all new, different, and sort of strange, but it’s good. I hope the start of fall is finding you well.  

Be blessed!

Today

Consisted of:

  • Catching up with Vince for an hour about life, God and the Church. (It may seem odd, but I’m really thankful to have great friends hundreds of miles away) 
  • Getting re-certified in First Aid. It was just me and the instructor, we were in and out in an hour. Boss.
  • Lunch at Cool Moose Cafe and the chance to work on some stuff for camp. I can’t believe training begins in 1 week. 
  • Going to the Lexus dealer to get a new key made for my car. 
  • Shopping and thrifting. Finally got my sister and brother-in-law’s wedding present. 
  • Working 5 hours at Outback. The last half of which I had between 8 and 10 tables at once. I haven’t worked that hard in a long, long time. Made $120. Worth it.

That’s about it. Hope you had a great day and sorry for this pointless post. 

a story for tomorrow. 

Inspiring. 

I love this video. 

Awake, O sleeper.

Today is a new day. Spoiler alert: some of this is sappy, some of this is fun, but it’s all me.

Each day is new, and that’s something to be excited about. The Lord has granted us today and we should be thankful. Thankful we are able to live and experience everything around us. I’ve been learning a lot about myself lately. About how much I depend on God and I’m so thankful he has helped me realize that. Also, I’ve realized how thankful I am for my friends and family. The friends I have at school are the bees knees and I am so incredibly thankful for all of them. I’m also thankful for the friends God has given me in places all over the country. Guys that genuinely care about me and my life, it’s so cool to have meaningful friendships with people hundreds of miles away.

I’ve been encouraged by Ephesians 5 lately. We should be making the most of the time we have here. Living lives centered in the Gospel. If we center ourselves around the Gospel, our relationships and lives will follow suite. The key to all of this is to wake up as verse 14 says. “Awake, O sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” We have to wake up and start living.

That’s what I want to do. I want to wake up and live my life and enjoy every single thing God has blessed me with. I also want to change patterns in my life. Simple things like making my bed each day and removing clutter from my room are refreshing changes for me. I am also going to be more diligent in reading for pleasure. A friend of mine has inspired me to do so. I think there is a lot of value from reading books and I want to do it more. First up: finish Mocking Jay, next I’ll be reading Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. I’m taking suggestions if you know of some great reads.

In other news, I finished LOST the other day. I watched it all in two months. I’m proud of that. It was quite good. In my honest opinion, seasons 1-3 were the best. Season 6 seemed rushed to me and the finale was okay, but could have been better. It’s a must see though, so get on Netflix and watch all 120 episodes.

I hope your life is going well, and even if it’s not right now, the Lord loves you. So rise from the dead and Christ will shine on you. Find ways to truly start living and enjoying each new day.